The Wizard Of Ozosaurus
by Lord Kristine
Summary: Raptors and rexes and trikes, oh my! Something tells me we're not InGen anymore . . . Bridge Series 4/4
1. Sepia

_For nearly a year, this story has given faithful service to the Silly At Heart. To those of you who have been faithful to it in return, I dedicate this fanfic._

 **Heart, heart, heart, smiley face, wink, wink.**

It all started when Tangerine got loose. Claire was supposed to be looking after Robyn's cat for the day, but she hadn't been doing a very good job. She thought the task consisted of simply locking the animal in her office with a bowl of food and a place to poop, but _no_. Tangerine had to go and make things so much more complicated.

The cat had darted out of Claire's office as soon as her secretary opened the door to speak with her. They dashed after it, only frightening the animal more. Eventually, they cornered the paper-thin hairless cat in the lab. It hadn't caused any damage, thank god, but it was making a terrible noise. Claire picked up the ugly feline and began to walk back to her office. Unfortunately, one of the halls was closed for cleaning (they had obviously darted through it right before it was locked up), and she had to take an alternate route, which led her outside. There, Tangerine jumped out of her arms and dashed over to a small ice cream stand to pester the customers. She rubbed up against a man in a turtleneck, who kicked her away gently.

"Dr. Wu! I'm _so_ sorry!" Claire gasped, "I didn't mean to let it get away. I thought I could hold it-"

"It's fine," Wu said calmly, "I'm on my break. I was just getting some ice cream. I'm not allergic."

"To ice cream?"

"To cats."

Claire nodded and picked up Tangerine.

"Alright, I'll be on my way."

Wu pointed to the sky.

"Better hurry. It looks like a nasty storm is brewing. I predict lightning. Could be dangerous."

Claire nodded.

"Alright. Aren't you gonna take shelter?"

Wu shook his head.

"I want my ice cream."

Claire laughed until she realized that he was dead serious. With an awkward step, she slithered away.

***OZ***

On her journey to the office, Claire heard Mr. Masrani calling out to the workers.

"What's all this Jabberwocky, when there's work to be done? Go on, get back to work!"

"But sir! The storm . . ."

"Must I repeat myself? Go on! Work, work, work!"

Claire rolled her eyes and strutted down the path. The wind was kicking up.

"Hey, Claire!"

Owen jogged up to her before she could run away and pretend that she hadn't noticed him.

"How's it going? Listen, about the other day-"

"I'm very busy, Mr. Grady."

He blocked her path.

"Please, just hear me out. I'm really sorry about-"

"Your brainless comment? Yeah, I don't particularly like being insulted through song."

Owen shuffled his feet.

"I'm sorry. Really, I am."

Not wanting to push the situation to a new level of "uncomfortable", Claire turned to leave.

"Is that your cat?" Owen asked.

"No!" Claire called over her shoulder.

She left Owen in her dust.

"Well . . . Goodbye!" he said weakly, "I'll see you . . . later . . . I guess . . . goddamn it . . ."

***OZ***

Claire had nearly reached her office by the time the monsoon hit. Tangerine was mewling pitifully, and she couldn't take much more of the miserable cat.

"Let's get you home, okay?"

Tangerine coughed up a hairball, which made no sense, because he was a hairless cat. Claire grimaced as the wet lump landed on her sleeve.

"Great. I have a hairball on my coat, and the wind is ruining my coif. Once it rains, my makeup is sure to drip, too."

Her appearance was the least of her problems, however, for at that very moment, a sudden burst of wind sent a loose tile flying off of the roof.

It hit Claire on the head and knocked her out.

***OZ***

Claire was inside a flying house. Of course, she had no idea why. All she knew was that she was sitting on an unfamiliar bed with Tangerine in her lap while strange objects flew past the window. She saw a cow, a canoe, a lion-dragon . . .

"Shit. I'm having a _Wizard of Oz_ fantasy."

Claire scrunched up her face and tried to snap out of her delusion, but to no avail. A couple of times, the image wavered, and she heard someone's voice.

 _Claire? Claire, are you okay?_

Then it faded.

Claire turned back to the window. Crazy images were flying in front of her, including-

"Zara?!"

"Hi, Claire!" Zara shouted from her broomstick. Claire rubbed her eyes.

"Why in the hell are you the Wicked Witch?"

Zara grinned.

"I want to sing 'Defying Gravity'."

Claire blinked.

"Zara . . . This isn't _Wicked_. It's _The Wizard of Oz_."

Zara's jaw dropped.

"WHAT?! Are you telling me that I've been practicing my karaoke for no good reason?"

"Is there _ever_ a good reason for karaoke?"

The house gave a jolt. Claire grabbed a bedpost.

"I'm sorry, Zara, but I think I have to go now. It appears as though I'm going to-"

The house dropped.

"CRAAAAAAAAASH!"


	2. The Yellow Brick Road

Claire groaned. She was lying on the floor of the cottage, and Tangerine was licking her face. She pushed the cat away and stood up.

"Alright. Let's get this over with. Follow me, kitty, and we'll get out of this crazy dream."

Claire opened the door to the cottage, stepping into a very colorful world. She didn't take in the scenery, however, because she wasn't exactly the "sentimental" type. Besides, she wanted to get home, not sightsee.

"Hello? Glinda Goodwitch? You around?" Claire called.

A pink bubble appeared on the horizon. When it dissolved, Claire saw a winged figure standing in front of her.

"Oh, great. It's _you_. I figured my mysterious 'guardian angel' would show up at some point."

The woman smiled pleasantly.

"I'm no angel, Claire. I'm a good witch."

"Of course," Claire muttered sardonically, "Can you tell me how to get home? Do I have to tap my heels?"

The witch shook her head.

"You don't have silver slippers. However, you _do_ have a necklace . . ."

". . . Which _you_ gave me. I remember."

"I never gave it to you. You landed on the-"

"-Wicked Witch of the East-"

The good witch bopped Claire on the head with her wand.

"Don't interrupt me. The Munchkinsauruses are very pleased with your work. You're their national heroine."

Claire snorted.

"Yes, I'm sure some of _that_ must have been involved . . ."

The witch bopped her on the head once again.

"Don't get sassy with me. You need to go on an adventure."

Claire considered removing her magic necklace and gutting the angel-witch with her horns, but she quickly decided that it was a bad idea. Assuming she was knocked out, there would be people around to supervise her real self, and if she lost control while she was asleep . . . No, it was best not to risk an incident. In a dream, it would be easy to slip up. When people tried to pee in dreams, for example, they might accidentally wet their bed. Claire's situation was far more delicate than that.

"Alright, crazy witch-lady, I'll go find the Wizard or whatever," Claire hummed, "Maybe I'll wake up before-"

She was interrupted by a burst of red smoke. Zara jumped out of the cloud and cackled.

"Aw, shit. Not _this_ again . . ." Claire sighed, "Look, Zara, I'm not giving you my necklace."

Zara sneered.

"I don't _want_ your necklace! I want _revenge_. You stole my limelight-"

"You sure? Because you look pretty green to me . . ."

Zara grabbed her throat.

"Try to say that again. Just try!"

Claire coughed.

"Sorry," she choked.

Zara dropped her.

"I'll get you, my pretty, and your little cat, too! _HAHAHAHAHA_!"

The good witch watched as Zara sunk into the ground, cloaked by smoke and fire. She hummed lightly, then turned to Claire.

"Now, then. Will you-"

She frowned when she saw that Claire was already jogging down the Yellow Brick Road.

"Alright. Screw you, too, then."


	3. Scarecrowen

Claire dragged her feet along the Yellow Brick Road. Tangerine had begun to lick herself, and she was lagging behind. Claire really didn't want to stop for the cat, especially since this was all a dream. Unfortunately, her conscience got the better of her, and she sat down by the road and sighed.

"This is all so confusing, Tangerine," she muttered, "I've tried waking myself up, but to no avail. Do you suppose I'm in a coma?"

"Mrowrl . . ." Tangerine purred. Claire sighed and rubbed her behind her ears.

"I just don't know what to do or where to go. I mean, which way would be best?"

"Thataway might work . . ."

Claire gasped as she heard a familiar voice behind her. She turned and saw a scarecrow in the cornfield.

"Oh, for the love of-"

"Hi, Claire!" Owen said in a singsong voice, "How's it going?"

Claire rubbed her temples.

"I should have known that you'd show up somewhere in this crazy delusion."

Owen gave her an oily grin.

"If this is a dream, don't wake me up. I _love_ that Dorothy costume, by the way . . ."

Claire pulled her dress over her knees.

"What do you want, Owen?"

He shrugged.

"Mind helping me down?"

Claire shook her head.

"Sorry. I was just leaving."

"Come on, Claire!" Owen whined, "You, of all people, should know what it's like to have a pole up your ass . . ."

Claire whipped around.

" _Excuse me_?"

Owen grinned.

"Come on. Help me down. I promise to leave you alone after that . . ."

Claire rolled her eyes.

"If only that were true."

She twisted the nail on the back of his post and let him drop. Owen stood up and brushed himself off.

"There. I helped you. now, shoo!"

Owen shuffled his feet.

"I guess I should head off . . . to nowhere in particular . . . all alone . . . with no one to comfort me in times of pain."

"Yeah, I guess you should," Claire said with venom. Owen pouted.

"Why do you hate me so much?"

"You're a shameful excuse of a scarecrow!"

Owen nodded.

"I have to agree with you on that one. I've been trying to tame the raptors, but they don't find me intimidating. They laugh at me all day. At least I'm mobile now."

Claire turned to leave, but Owen grabbed her arm.

"Claire . . . Please let me come with you," he said softly, "I don't want us to be enemies."

Claire looked into his eyes. He was being sincere. With a deep sigh, she nodded.

"Alright. Follow me. I'm going to see the Wizard."

"What for?"

"To go home."

"Cool. Does that mean we're travel-buddies?"

Claire scoffed.

"Unlikely. We'll discuss our non-relationship later."

Owen grinned.

"Do you want to discuss it here or . . . in my cornfield?"

Claire slapped him.


	4. Thematic

Owen struggled to keep up with Claire as she jogged down the path. He had lost about half of his hay by running after her, and every time he stopped to pick it up, she'd be miles ahead of him. He finally cut in front of her, panting heavily.

"Slow down, Claire. I can't keep up."

She rolled her eyes pointedly.

"Fine. Leave. You're slowing me down."

Owen rubbed the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry. It's hard to run when you're made of straw. But I promise to help you along the way if you just accommodate-"

"Owen, no offense, but I really don't need your help."

He looked at her sadly and scuffed his feet against the yellow bricks.

"Are you saying that just because it's me?"

She snuffed and tossed her head.

"I don't need help from anyone."

Owen shrugged.

"Doesn't matter how independent you are. Everyone needs a little help now and then."

" _I_ don't."

Owen crossed his arms.

"You're being immature."

Claire knew that he was right, but she didn't feel like wasting her time arguing with him.

"We might have to split up, Owen."

He looked crushed.

"Claire . . . I have nowhere to go."

She sighed.

"Fine."

"I'll make myself useful."

"I already said you could come."

Owen hopped off of the road and climbed a tall tree. He plucked a bunch of grapes off of a branch and tossed them down to her. Claire caught them and examined them with confusion.

"That's funny . . . I didn't think grapes grew on trees. Maybe Oz is different. At least the tree isn't alive . . ."

She looked up at Owen, who was now clinging to the branch with dread. He shivered and peeked over the side.

"Claire . . . I think I'm stuck."

She groaned.

"Can't you just jump? You're made of hay . . ."

Owen gulped.

"Will you catch me?"

"No."

Owen tried to lower himself to the ground. He dangled from the bough pitifully.

"Oh, alright," Claire hummed. She stood beneath him and caught him as he fell. Because he was a scarecrow, he was very light.

"Thanks."

Claire stood him upright and nodded.

"Let's go."

As they walked down the road, Owen held Claire's hand. She found that she couldn't pull away. Literally. Her hand was like lead.

"Owen . . ."

 _Claire, are you okay?_

She blinked.

"What?"

"I said, are you okay? You look upset."

"Don't hold my hand."

 _She's looking better._

Claire gasped. A tin man version of Barry was now walking on her other side.

"Where did _you_ come from?"

He smiled.

"Well, I was standing in the woods, chopping down a tree, when-"

Claire waved her hand.

"Alright, alright. I get it. Let's just get a move on, okay?"

Owen nodded.

"Okay."

And he held her hand again.


	5. Totally Lion

The three friends (by circumstance, not by choice) skipped down the road until they passed a small shed. Claire took one look at it and began to walk a little faster.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" Owen asked.

Claire broke into a light jog.

"If we stay here, we'll run into-"

An explosion of fog made them all jump. Zara was on the roof.

"Oh, crap . . ." Claire breathed.

"Thought you could escape me, did you?" Zara cackled.

Claire walked up to the shed with her arms crossed.

"Zara, I don't want to fight."

The witch formed a fireball in her hand and tossed it up and down playfully.

"It won't be a fight at all . . ."

Owen stepped in front of Claire.

"Don't hurt her. She just wants to go home."

Claire pushed him out of the way.

"Don't be stupid. You'll burn."

Owen grinned.

"You're worried I'll get hurt. Does that mean you care about me?"

Claire grunted.

"I don't want to have to put you out!"

On top of the roof, Zara rolled her eyes.

"Would you two shut up so I can kill you?"

Claire sighed.

"You won't kill us, Zara. Goodbye."

She began to walk away.

"Hey! Come back here!"

Claire didn't turn around.

"Goodbye . . ."

"I'll stuff a mattress with your boyfriend!"

"He's not my boyfriend!"

Owen elbowed her.

"Yeah, but, uh, speaking of mattresses . . ."

Claire lifted her hand quickly. Owen flinched. Behind them, Barry laughed.

"Does anyone want _my_ opinion on this situation?"

"No," Claire said calmly.

"Well, at least she's polite about it . . ." Barry muttered.

They skipped away as Zara tried to climb down from the roof, landing painfully in a briar patch below.

*************OZ*************

It wasn't long before they came across a particularly dark part of the forest. Claire crept across the broken road and whispered to her companions.

"Alright. Keep your eyes open for- _Inostrancevia_?!"

"Gesundheit!" Owen chuckled. He stopped laughing, however, when the animal pounced upon him.

"Grrr . . . Grrr . . ."

Claire rolled her eyes.

"Hello, Vic. Also, why are you an Inostrancevia? Shouldn't you be a sabertooth or something?"

Vic growled.

"Naw, naw! I'm above dem mammals, and I would show the dinosaur'uss who's king around the for'uss . . ."

Claire punched him.

"Shut up. I've had enough of this stupid dream. The only thing worse than these crazy critters are the real versions of you. Especially straw-for-brains, here."

Owen looked away.

"Gee, Claire. I'm really sorry-"

She shoved him grumpily.

"Don't pretend to be innocent. You just want to have your way with me, which makes no sense, since you're stuffed with hay!"

Owen hummed.

"I was just kidding around, Claire, I-

- _didn't mean to call you a cow. Well, maybe I did, but I was just being petty. Truth is, you're not so bad, and I don't want you to die thinking that I hated you, so please, wake up_ -

"-looking pale. Are you okay?"

Claire stared dazedly at the scarecrow version of Owen, then shook her head.

"I . . . I thought I was waking up, but . . ."

 _Claire, don't die_ . . .

After a brief pause, Claire continued to jog down the path.

"I have to get out of here. Vic, you can come along, too."

And so, Claire Dearing ran down the yellow brick road with a scarecrow, a tin man, an Inostrancevia, and a hairless cat.


	6. Poppies

Claire could see the Emerald City glowing in the distance. Although she was eager to get home, the sheer beauty of the green buildings was enough to make her heart flutter. She grinned and started running down the road.

"Almost there! Almost there! I'm almost home!"

Tangerine swayed on her shoulders.

"Mrrrowrl!"

Claire screeched to a halt. She was standing in front of a field of poppies. Poppies which would inevitably put her to sleep. She'd be sleeping in a dream.

"What's the matter?" Owen asked as he jogged up to her, "Aren't you excited to see the city?"

"These poppies are drugged," she said quietly, "I'll have to hold my breath."

Owen scrunched up his face.

"How do you know they're drugged?"

"I've seen this before . . ."

Claire held her breath and ran through the field. She could hear Owen rustling and Barry clanking as they tried to keep up. They were lagging behind, but it didn't matter. They weren't in any danger. Claire could feel her heart lifting as she sprinted towards the city. She was going to make it!

. . . Or not . . .

The more she ran, the farther the city seemed to be. It was like some sort of crazy Escher logic. Finally, Claire couldn't hold her breath.

"No! . . . No! . . ."

Claire collapsed, feeling terribly drowsy. Owen sprinted over and kneeled beside her.

"Claire . . ."

She blinked slowly.

"It's alright. Glinda will save me . . ."

 _Don't die, Claire._

Owen held her in his arms. Claire frowned drowsily.

"Don't touch me, Owen . . ." she slurred, "Glinda will save me. I'll be fine."

Owen looked down at her with tears in his eyes.

 _Claire, I don't think I could live with myself if I let you die. Wake up. Please, wake up._

Claire went limp. Owen tried to shake her awake.

"Come on, Claire. The emerald city is right there . . ."

Claire's lips made the smallest of movements. Owen leaned closer to hear her better.

"I don't need your help . . ."

Owen pulled away from her and frowned.

"Dammit, Claire! Can't you be nice, just once?"

She didn't reply.

*************OZ*************

Claire's eyes fluttered open. She was lying on the yellow brick road. Owen, Barry, and Vic were staring down at her. Tangerine was licking her hand.

"What happened?" she moaned.

"You fell asleep," Barry explained, "But Owen dragged you through the poppy field. Then we went back for Vic. We're safe now."

Claire bit her lip.

"How long was I out?"

Owen crossed his arms.

"Don't be so suspicious, Claire. I didn't have to save you, especially after that scathing remark . . ."

"I'm sorry."

"Furthermore- Wait, _what_?"

"I'm sorry," Claire repeated, "I've been a jerk to you, because none of this is real, and I needed to vent my anger, but that's not fair. You _imaginary_ saved me from an _imaginary_ danger, so I guess I'm _imaginarily_ in the wrong."

Owen smiled.

"I imagine so."

He helped her to her feet.

"So, Claire, are you ready to visit the Emerald City?"

Claire smiled.

"I'm ready to go home."


	7. Cry

They were led into the Emerald City by a man who looked like one of the mechanics Claire had never bothered to introduce herself to. They were all given glasses to wear in the city for protection against the emerald-green light that was cast off of the buildings. Claire was delighted to find that the horse of a different color was present, and she took a short break from her journey to pet his snout. She invited Owen over, but he was afraid that he'd be eaten.

Later, they all went to a kind of spa, where they freshened up. Claire was starting to enjoy the dream, she had to admit. It was nice to feel appreciated . . . well, besides the appreciation Owen was constantly showing.

Her bubble of contentment quickly burst, however, when Zara showed up and made a message in the sky. She did loops and spins to write out every letter in smoke, but unfortunately . . .

"Zara, I think you made a mistake!" Claire shouted, "The word 'surrender' takes two Rs, not one."

Zara looked back at the smoky letters and frowned.

"Shut up, Claire. Try flying a broom. See how well _you_ do."

When Zara left, they were off to see the Wizard once more. They introduced themselves to a man with fluffy gloves, who went to announce their arrival. Vic proceeded to sing a rather pointless and out-of-nowhere song, which made reference to a Brontosaurus. Claire hadn't noticed that there were two dinosaur references in the Wizard of Oz. Strange.

"The wizard will not see you."

Claire spun around as the man returned. She remembered this from the movie, but . . .

"What do you mean 'the Wizard won't see us'?" she asked.

"He's very busy."

"No, he's not!" Claire growled, "We have the right to see him! We've come such a long way . . ."

"The answer is 'No'."

The man marched away and slammed the door. Claire stood still for a few seconds, then sat down on a green bench.

"What am I gonna do now?"

Owen sat beside her.

"We'll find a way. Maybe there's a back door or-"

Claire snapped her fingers.

"Owen, cry!"

He blinked.

"What?"

"You have to cry," Claire insisted, "If he sees one of us crying, he's sure to take pity on us."

Owen frowned.

"Why can't _you_ cry?"

"Because I have a reputation to uphold, that's why. Now, cry!"

Owen bit his lip.

"I can't just cry on cue . . ."

Claire slapped him.

"Ow!"

"Cry!" she commanded.

"Claire, that's not-"

She slapped him again.

"Cry, goddamnit!"

Owen whimpered.

"Claire, stop!"

She slapped him very hard.

"CRY!"

Owen pushed her away and stood up, his lip quivering.

"Why are you so _mean_ , Claire? What did I ever do to _you_?"

"You annoy me! You pester me every day! You're immature, petulant, and slobbish!"

Owen sniffled, then ran away. Claire started to chase after him.

"Come back here! He has to _see_ you crying!"

The man opened the door.

"Jesus, lady! If you're so determined to see the Wizard that you'd beat up your friend, I think I ought to let you pass."

He opened the gate, but Claire found that she couldn't move. She was feeling a little bit . . . guilty. She sighed and turned to the guard.

"Hang on. I need to bring him back."

She jogged away from the open door and followed a trail of loose straw. It led down a long hallway and into a small room. There, Claire found Owen crying in the corner. She gulped and sat down next to him.

"I've never seen you cry before."

He sniffled.

"Well, I suppose I'm not really crying," he said bitterly, "This is just your imagination, right?"

Claire nodded.

"I have to wonder why I'd imagine you to be so upset. Maybe this is my conscience leaking through . . ."

"I didn't think you had a conscience."

Claire shrugged.

"I do, but I just ignore it. It gets in the way, you know?"

Owen grumbled.

"You're being really stupid."

Claire smiled.

"I know. I'm half-joking. But I really am sorry for making you cry."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Claire gave him a hug. He went rigid, as he didn't expect this affectionate gesture. Even so, he returned it.

"So," Claire said as she stood up, "Are you ready to meet this wonderful Wizard?"


	8. No Place Like Home

Claire crept down the hallway with Owen, Barry, and Vic close behind. She was a little curious to see who this wizard would be in her crazy made-up world. When she came to the podium, a large, flaming face greeted her.

"I . . . AM . . . OZ!"

Claire blinked.

"Dr. Wu? Oh, right. Wizard Of Oz. W-O-O. Wu. I get it."

Vic was cowering in the corner. Barry and Owen were standing behind her bravely.

"Why have you come here?" Wu asked.

"To go home," Claire replied.

"How dare you ask for such an insignificant favor! I am the Great and Terrible Oz!"

Claire rolled her eyes.

"I guess you're not going to tell us the truth. Alright, Dr. Wu, let's see how tough you are when I-"

When she pulled back the infamous curtain, however, she saw a man dressed entirely in black. He adjusted his glasses and grinned sheepishly.

"Hello . . ."

"Who the hell are you?" Claire asked.

"I'm just a simple chaotician who was caught in a storm. They called me a wizard, and I-"

Suddenly, Vic leapt upon him. Claire jumped back.

"Vic! What are you doing?"

"I'm sick of being cowardly!" Vic growled, "It's time to be a _real_ reptile!"

Claire grabbed Owen's arm and dragged him out of the room. Barry followed with Tangerine in his arms. The four of them dashed down the hallway, anxious to get out of Vic's range. They stopped outside, panting in exhaustion.

"He killed the Wizard!" Claire whimpered, "He killed him and now we're trapped!"

Owen held her hand.

"This movie of yours . . . how does it end?"

Claire bit her lip.

"The Wizard isn't supposed to die. We aren't even supposed to know who he is yet. We have nowhere to go. I mean, theoretically, there's that spooky forest with the obviously fake birds, but-"

Without warning, a pteranodon snatched Claire up by her shoulders. Owen reached out, but it was too late. She was being carried to the castle of the Wicked Witch.

*************OZ*************

Zara had locked Claire in an isolated room. It was gloomy, dark, and a little bit scary. Claire remembered this from the movie, of course, and she knew that it would be foolish to cry in a dream, but for some reason, she really, really wanted to. She felt very much alone in this crazy world, not just literally, but figuratively as well. She was somewhat used to feeling alone in the _real_ world (in fact, she took pride in her independence), but something felt . . . _different_ about this. This didn't feel like self-sufficiency. It just felt kind of bad.

Claire walked over to a large crystal ball and stared into its depths. She half expected to see Auntie Em, but there was no one there. Of course, she didn't have an Auntie Em, so maybe she would see her sister or her friends . . .

Claire placed her hand on the globe. She willed it to show her someone who was worried about her. She closed her eyes and concentrated as hard as she could. When she peered into the depths of the glass, she saw nothing. Nobody cared about her. No one was worried.

And then, Claire started to cry. She couldn't help it. Something inside of her just snapped. She sniffled and wiped her cheek with her sleeve. Her tears landed on the transparent sphere, sliding down its side very slowly.

"I get it," Claire whimpered, "I know what you're trying to say. I'm a frigid, miserable woman who has no friends. Is that it? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

She hiccupped.

"Fine. You win. I'm crying now. Are you happy?"

There was no reply. Claire sniffed and stood up.

"Look, it's hard, okay? It's hard to be tough when other people look down on you. You have to be mean to earn their respect, and when you are, you don't get to have friends. It's like you have to choose between respect and friendship. I know everyone has to be rescued once in a while. I know. But I _can't_ be. I can't be because if I let myself be rescued, people won't respect me. It's not fair. I need help sometimes, like everyone else in this stupid world, but if I ask for it, they will laugh at me. All I want is for someone to understand me. But I can't have it both ways . . . Oh, god. What am I even _saying_? I don't know what to do . . ."

Suddenly, the door crashed to the ground. Claire jumped away in alarm. There, standing in the doorway, was Owen and Barry.

"Hey, Claire!" Owen said casually, "We were just walking by this spooky castle, coincidentally, and we decided to renovate a little. These doors are just hideous, don't you think?"

Barry nodded.

"So passé. Anyway, just to be clear, this isn't a rescue."

Owen slapped Barry's arm.

"Shush. Don't make it so obvious . . ."

Claire wiped her eyes and smiled.

"You came back for me?"

Owen nodded.

"Kind of. Unless you don't want us to be saving you, in which case, my renovation story still stands."

Claire rushed forward and hugged him.

"It's okay. I know I needed to be saved."

Owen nodded.

"Doesn't make you any less respectable, though. Just throwing that out there. Not that I was listening to your monologue or anything . . ."

They all whipped around as Zara burst through the (now shattered) door.

"Little brat! How dare you-"

Claire held up her hand to cut her off.

"Zara, listen. I know you're upset that we aren't doing Wicked, but you don't have to be a witch. Just do what you want. You can sing. Nobody's gonna stop you. If they do, they'll have to deal with me."

Zara blinked.

"Really?"

Claire nodded.

"If anyone tells you to shut up, I'll punch out their lights. Metaphorically."

Zara grinned.

"Well, in that case . . . I'M GONNA TRY DEFYING GRA-"

*************OZ*************

"Claire, are you alright?"

Claire opened her eyes. She saw Owen and Barry staring down at her. She was in a clinic.

"You got hit on the head real bad," Owen said, "You've been zonked out for a couple of hours."

Claire rubbed her forehead.

"I had the strangest dream . . ."

"Was I there?" Owen asked.

"Yes, and Barry, and-"

Claire looked around.

"Where's everybody else?"

Owen blinked.

"Hm? Oh, you mean the staff. Well, Dr. Wu came by to see how you were doing, Hoskins told the nurse to say 'Hi', Vivian got you a small teddy bear, but she had to babysit Robyn's cat in your place, Zara dropped by, but she has to fly to the mainland later today . . . I think she has tickets to see Wicked or something . . ."

Claire frowned in puzzlement.

"But you . . . Why did you stay?"

Owen shrugged.

"Nothing better to do."

Barry grinned.

" _I_ wanted to leave, but he wouldn't let me."

Owen cuffed him.

"Barry! Don't tell _her_ that . . ."

Claire laughed.

"It's fine. I'm feeling better now."

Owen nodded.

"I, uh, I got you a card . . ."

He handed her a small, pink card. On the front was a bear holding a red, heart-shaped balloon. Inside, Owen had scribbled out a "Happy Valentine's Day!" message and replaced it with "Get well soon, Clairebear!".

"Clairebear? . . ." Claire muttered. Barry chuckled.

"I told him not to write it, but he wouldn't listen."

Claire smiled.

"That's fine. I think it's sweet. Stupid, but sweet."

She looked around.

"So . . . are you two really the only ones who decided to stay by my side?"

Owen shrugged.

"We weren't busy."

Barry frowned.

"But we were in the middle of-"

Owen punched him.

"Not busy at all," he affirmed.

Claire read over the card again, then sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"That my nicknames are so bad?" Owen asked.

"No," Claire said quietly, "I'm sorry that I've been mean to you. Maybe we can learn to tolerate each other? . . ."

Owen smiled.

"Do you really think we could manage that?"

Claire shrugged.

"Maybe. I'm sure that you'll mature. I have known more stupid boys."

Owen gave a half-smile.

"That was . . . _kind of_ a compliment. Thanks."

Claire smiled.

"No problem."


End file.
